Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
