I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
