I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
