Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i came on her dog
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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