D3 body, D1 cock
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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