K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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