Your face is a jimmy john
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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