I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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