I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
