Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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