Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
