just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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