and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
