you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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