I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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