textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
