May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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