My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
