dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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