It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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