he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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