Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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