why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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