it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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