I saw his package. It spoke to me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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