My pussy is not your playground.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
