Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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