just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
