I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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