two words: eviction party
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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