never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
