You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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