all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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