Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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