drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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