We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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