DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
