i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
