I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
