you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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