he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
