I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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