Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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