it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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