from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
