Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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