A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
