Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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