I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
