At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
