i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
