Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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