I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
