Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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